Colleen & Jeff's Roots – Page 6 – The family history of Jeff Greene and Colleen (Robledo) Greene.

Grandfather Benjamin Robledo (1919-1990): Trying to Solve the Mystery of His Given Birth Name

For over 15 years, I have beaten my head against a wall in total frustration at being unable to locate the birth record for my paternal grandfather, Benjamin Robledo (1919-1990), born 23 May 1919 in Long Beach, Los Angeles County, California.

My grandfather was the third of eight children born to Jose Robledo (1875-1937) and Maria Nieto (1887-1973). Benjamin was the second son, but the first U.S.-born child — his parents immigrated from Mexico in 1915.

Early on, I successfully located birth records for all of Benjamin’s U.S.-born siblings, and the Mexico christening records (with birth dates noted) for his two older Mexico-born siblings. But I could never find a birth record for my grandfather, which just made no sense. Searching the Ancestry and FamilySearch versions of the California Birth Index failed every time.

My breakthrough finally happened in February 2014 during my first RootsTech research trip to the Family History Library in Salt Lake City, Utah.

The Breakthrough

Since the Family History Library owns the Long Beach city birth certificates, 1906-1919 collection on microfilm, my top priority for that research trip was to review the collection. I felt fairly certain that my grandfather was born in Long Beach, since the family was enumerated there on the 1920 U.S. Census when he was just an infant. I wanted to try a narrower Long Beach focus before having to expand my search to all of Los Angeles County.

With the first roll in the collection being an index for 1906-1919, I was able to quickly scan for any Robledo babies born in or around 1919. My only hit was a reference to a Raymond Robledo born in 1919.

Benjamin Robledo - 1919 Birth - Index FHL — The only Robledo born in Long Beach in 1919. Index to birth certificates, 1908-1919. Family History Library microfilm collection.

I pulled that particular birth register number up on microfilm, and was surprised to discover that Raymond Robledo appeared to be my grandfather Benjamin. The date of birth, parents’ names, and parents’ residence all jived with what I already knew about him.

Raymond???? His name was Benjamin.

Raymond is the name of a much younger brother. Ray is the nickname of his older brother Refugio. I have never heard my grandfather referred to as anything other than Benjamin or Ben.

I scanned back and forth on the microfilm, wondering if this Raymond was perhaps a twin (of Benjamin) that died at birth. But there was still no Benjamin Robledo in the collection. Only a Raymond Robledo, with no middle name (I thought perhaps Benjamin might be a middle name).

Benjamin Robledo - 1919 Birth - Family History Library — Transcribed birth record, photographed from the Family History Library microfilm collection. Long Beach city birth certificates, 1906-1919.

I immediately texted my father, sending him a copy of the birth record. He confirmed this information appeared to be for his father, but also confirmed he had never heard his father called anything other than Benjamin.

Backtracking

Armed with this new document and name, I retraced my previous (years’ worth) of attempts to once again find my grandfather on the California Birth Index. Only to be faced with the same result. No listings for a Benjamin or even unnamed Robledo male baby born in 1919 California.

Only…. a Raymond Robledo. My same Raymond. He had been staring me in the face every time I searched the Birth Index, but I had always dismissed this hit due to the name Raymond.

Benjmain Robledo - 1919 - CA Birth Index - Ancestry — California Birth Index record for my grandfather. Courtesy of Ancestry.com.

Robledo-Nieto - 1919-CA Birth Index - Ancestry — Every California Birth Index entry that Ancestry retrieves when searching for a Robledo born in California in 1919. Raymond (my grandfather) is the only one born to a Nieto mother, and on the proper birth date.

Robledo-Nieto - 1919 - CA Birth Index - Family Search — FamilySearch only finds one entry for a Robledo born in 1919 California to a Nieto mother.

Since finding my grandfather’s birth record last year, my dad has questioned his father’s lone living sibling about this mystery several times. Dad’s living uncle has told both of us that he has no recollection of my grandfather ever being referred to as Raymond — only Benjamin. He is just as surprised by this discovery as we are.

The Original Source Document

Just in case that transcribed birth certificate found in the Family History Library microfilm collection had been mis-transcribed (human error happens), I knew I needed to obtain the original record. A few weeks ago, I finally made it a priority to visit the Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder/County Clerk to request an informational copy of the original birth certificate.

When filling out the order form there, I listed both Benjamin and Raymond as first names.

Yesterday, my copy of the original birth certificate finally arrived!

No transcription error. My grandfather’s given name at birth was recorded as Raymond.

Benjamin Robledo, Birth Certificate — Birth certificate for Benjamin (Raymond) Robledo, 1919. County of Los Angeles.

No Further Trace of Raymond

I have never come across another instance of my grandfather’s given name being recorded as Raymond, even though I now always intentionally search for both a Benjamin Robledo and a Raymond Robledo with the same age and/or the same immediate family members.

After his birth, the earliest record upon which I find my grandfather living is the 1920 U.S. Census, where he was identified already as Benjamin, at 8 months old. Not Raymond.

Benjamin Robledo - 1920 US Census - Ancestry — The 1920 US Census record for my grandfather and his family, in Long Beach, Los Angeles County, California. Grandfather (highlighted in yellow) is already identified as Benjamin at just 8 months old. The name above his is older Mexican-born brother Refugio, who would go by the nickname “Ray” among his siblings and friends. Courtesy of Ancestry.com.

Other records that identify his given name as Benjamin:

(1920) US Census: 8 months old.
(1930) US Census: 17 years old.
(1936) Glendale, California, City Directory.
(1940) US Census: 20 years old.
(1942) Marriage License and Certificate, County of Orange, California.
(1944-1945) US Navy Muster Rolls.
(1945) Notice of Separation, US Naval Service.
(1945) Birth Certificate of child.
(1953) Glendale, California, City Directory.
(1990) California Death Index, 1940-1997.
(1990) US Social Security Death Index, 1935-2014.
(1990) U.S., Department of Veterans Affairs BIRLS Death File, 1850-2010.

Benjamin Robledo, Death Certificate — Death certificate for Benjamin Robledo, 1990. County of Los Angeles.

Questions, Questions, Questions!

What the heck happened that my grandfather was given a name at birth, that the family was no longer using for him by the time he was just 8 months old?

Did whomever (I assume one of Benjamin’s parents) provided the baby’s name to the hospital or county employee mistakenly give the wrong first name of “Raymond” for his birth certificate? If so, did they file a legal name change later, or an amended birth certificate that for some reason doesn’t show up in any publicly accessible collection? Or did they simply just start calling him Benjamin without a legal name change?
Were my great-grandparents in disagreement about my grandfather’s name, even after his birth? With whichever of the two who provided the details for the birth certificate winning out by having the baby’s name recorded as Raymond, unknown to the other parent who wanted the baby named Benjamin? At least one of my great grandparents liked the name Raymond enough to give that name later to another son. Raymond, Raymon, and Ramon all seem to be common names among their extended family. I find no other Benjamin in the Nieto-Robledo extended family.
Did the hospital or county official who recorded the details for grandfather’s birth certificate simply make a mistake and record the wrong given name?
Some parents (or later, the child him/herself) sometimes choose to go by a middle name. But none of the records I have for my grandfather indicate the existance of a middle name.

If a legal name change from Raymond to Benjamin was never made, how is it that my grandfather was able to use the name Benjamin in other legal records?

Since the Social Security Death Index records his name as Benjamin, I assume this is the given name he provided on his Social Security application. I know that birth records are now required when applying for a SS card. But, was that the case when he applied, before 1951?
He joined the U.S. Navy in 1943, during the Second World War. Was any type of record of birth or identify required to enlist? Even during wartime, when we needed more troops?
When my husband and I applied for our marriage license in 2009, I think I remember the County of Orange (same county in which my grandparents married) requiring us to show our birth certificates. Did my grandparents have to show their own birth certificates back in 1942, and if so, how did my grandfather explain away the discrepancy in his given name unless he had additional proof of a legal name change?

Next Steps

If I ever want to reach a credible conclusion that this Raymond Robledo is definitely my grandfather Benjamin Robledo, I know I have to conduct a more exhaustive search of all available evidence.

I just ordered a copy of my grandfather’s original Social Security card application.
I need to figure out which jurisdiction would have processed a legal name change, where those records are now located, and try to determine if any such name change was made.
I need to try to find a christening record for my grandfather, since I can assume that his practicing Catholic parents had him baptized as an infant. First though, I need to identify the Catholic church to which his family belonged when they lived in Long Beach.

Do you have suggestions for other steps I should take meet the requirements of a reasonably exhaustive search in order to work towards a sound written conclusion?

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#52Ancestors: My Favorite Photo, the Only Photo of Me with My Great-Grandmother Maria (Nieto) Robledo

My 14th entry in Amy Johnson Crow’s “52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks” family history blogging challenge for 2015.

The challenge: have one blog post each week devoted to a specific ancestor. It could be a story, a biography, a photograph, an outline of a research problem — anything that focuses on one ancestor.

Amy’s 2015 version of this challenge focuses on a different theme each week.

The theme for week 14 is Favorite Photo: Who is in a favorite photo of yours? Or tell the story of the photo itself — where was it taken, what was the event?

My 14th ancestor is my great-grandmother, Maria Hermalinda Nieto (1887-1973).

Cleaning through some forgotten files last week, I came across a bunch of old photos that I had taken out of my baby books decades ago and transferred to a new scrapbook album of favorite photos that I took with me to U.C. Berkeley when I went away to college after high school. These photos were still on those 27 year old horrible adhesive album pages, removed from my scrapbook, and got misfiled years ago during one of my many moves. How I never came across these again until now, I don’t know. How I managed to never scan these photos before, I don’t know. But, I am thrilled to have made this recent discovery! And I have since carefully removed all photos from those horrible destructive adhesive albums, and scanned them.

My Favorite Photo

Colleen Robledo and Maria Nieto — Nana with her Coco Colleen.

One of those photos is this one — my favorite photo. The ONLY photo I have with my great-grandmother, Maria (Nieto) Robledo, who died when I was just over three years old. I thought I had lost this. I was overjoyed to find it again!

My Great-Grandmother

Maria Robledo — affectionately called “Nana” by her grown children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and now great-great-grandchildren — was the paternal grandmother of my father, and she is the woman who raised him since he was a young toddler. She was a tiny little (approximately 5 foot tall) woman with a huge heart and giant presence. The name “Nana” is only ever uttered among our extended family in the most tender loving tone.

Maria outlived her husband, Jose Robledo (1875-1937), by over 35 years. The two of them lost everything back in their small San Luis Potosi, Mexico village during the Mexican Revolution, and immigrated to the United States in 1915, in hopes of beginning a new life for their young family (they had a 5 year old and a 3 month old). The family called Long Beach, California their first U.S. home, moving in with siblings and members of Nana’s extended family who had already immigrated here. Nana was widowed at about 50 years of age, but with at least six (ages 18 down to 6-1/2 years old) of their eight children still living at home. Even before Maria’s own youngest children were grown, she became mother to four of her very young grandchildren — including Dad.

Despite Jose having lived in the U.S. for almost 22 years, because the majority of his children were still so young when he died, it would be Nana who shaped and molded the American version of their family.

Why My Favorite?

So why is this photo, from among so many treasured photos from my childhood, the one I selected as my favorite?

Because this photo reminds me of the first time I remember seeing my dad cry.

And for a little 3 year old girl, seeing her strong daddy cry is a big big deal.

You see, I don’t remember the moment captured in this photo, of climbing on my Nana’s lap, teasingly trying to take her glasses off her face. My great-grandmother was a huge presence in our family and lives, yet I only have one memory of her…seeing her right before she died.

I have always had a vivid memory of looking in through a window, to Nana and Dad standing on the other side of that window, and my infant brother, Mom, and I all waving at them. That’s it. My one memory of my great-grandmother. Mom tells me that was a hospital visit, shortly before Nana died. We little ones either weren’t allowed in to see Nana, or Mom and Dad just thought it best we didn’t go inside. So we found Nana’s hospital room window, and waited outside of it, while Dad went inside and wheeled her up to the window so she could see us. I think I remember blowing kisses and laughing. No doubt, Mom tried to make a fun loving game of it for us, seeing which of us could blow Nana the most kisses.

I don’t think we ever saw her again.

Shortly after that visit, I remember being at home, and peaking inside my parents’ bedroom. Dad was sitting on the edge of their bed…crying. I had never seen him cry before.

It was so upsetting to me that I ran down the hall to find Mom, to tell her something was wrong, because my daddy was crying. He never cried. I distinctly remember Mom taking me in her arms, and explaining to me that Dad was crying because he was sad, because Nana had died. I wasn’t sure at that age what it meant for someone to die. All I knew was, it had to be something really really sad. Because my daddy was crying.

Because he had just lost the only mother he ever really knew, his grandmother.

Seeing Dad Cry Again

The next time I remember seeing Dad cry? When I graduated high school.

When he gave me a silver dollar that he’d been holding on to for a long time. The silver dollar that Nana had given to him when he graduated high school. This strong immigrant woman, who had started a life all over again for her family in a new country, never knew a time without financial struggles in her new country. My grandfather and his siblings grew up poor. Dad and the other grandkids raised by Nana grew up poor. It meant a lot, literally and symbolically, for Nana to save a silver dollar.

But Nana knew that education was the key to her family overcoming being poor.

Dad was the first of their family to get a college education. I can only imagine what joy it brought Nana to see one of her grandchildren go to college!

And giving me that silver dollar made Dad cry. Again.

Now, of course, as he’s grown older, my dad — who has always been a big softie — cries often. They are almost always tears of happiness.

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My Bio Family: Confirming the Maternal-Line via AncestryDNA

AncestryDNA Email Announcing Results — Email received from AncestryDNA on 06 April 2015 at 5:25pm confirming my autosomal test results are available.

AncestryDNA made a liar out of me yesterday!

Within 15 minutes of publishing my last blog post, whining that it would be late April at the earliest before Ancestry made my autosomal DNA results available, I received the email displayed to the right. Instead of its usual 4-6 week processing period, AncestryDNA completed my results within less than 2-1/2 weeks of receiving my test kit.

I saw this email on my iPhone, upon pulling into my garage after work.

All productive plans for the evening went out the door! Including making dinner. A quick text to Hubby arranged for take-out.

Time to plant my butt on the couch and start some serious exploring.

Initial Surname Search

The first thing I did after logging into my AncestryDNA test was to conduct a filtered search of each bio parent’s surname in my list of Matches.

Rought (maternal) displayed zero results, even when choosing the option to include similar surnames.
Deleon (paternal) displayed one distant result, and the spelling variation De Leon displayed two distant results. The option to include similar surnames was not very helpful here, as it pulled in surnames such as Dillon.

I was bummed. I had hoped both surnames would show up in my Matches, and in a close relationship range.

Me AncestryDNA Rought Matches — No AncestryDNA Matches for me with the surname Rought identified.

AncestryDNA Deleon Matches — One distant “Deleon” AncestryDNA Match for me.

AncestryDNA De Leon Match — Two distant “De Leon” AncestryDNA Matches.

Reviewing the Closest Matches

I decided to start investigating the closest Match, a female that AncestryDNA estimates as a 2nd cousin with a possible rage of 1st to 2nd cousin.

No Tree Linked to DNA Test

Since AncestryDNA does not provide a chromosome browser or any other tools for analysis, a Match’s family tree is really the only way to try to investigate and verify a relationship online. Because this closest Match’s test kit profile shows no family tree connected, I was not very hopeful. But I clicked on the “View Match” button anyways.

My AncestryDNA Closest Match — The big blue help box that appears when clicking on the View Match button in AncestryDNA. Note the drop-down menu at the bottom, providing quick access to that member’s public tree(s).

Clicking on “View Match” brought up this big blue help box from AncestryDNA. Either I have always tuned this out when reviewing my dad’s Matches, or this is a new feature. I noticed at the bottom of the box a drop-down menu asking me to “Select a tree to preview…”. Huh? This Match’s test kit profile indicated that she had “No family tree” linked to her DNA test. Reading the blue help box closer confirms that she has not linked a family tree.

In the past, for Dad’s Matches, if a tree was not linked to a test kit, I would try to find an Ancestry Member profile for that person (or the test administrator), look to see if a Public Member Tee was listed for that Member Profile, and if not I would contact the Match asking if they would share their private tree with me (assuming they had a tree on Ancestry at all…many DNA testers do not).

Like the big blue box, this is the first time I have ever seen AncestryDNA provide direct access to find a Match’s unlinked Public Member Tree. Handy, and saves some time and steps!

Digging Through the Unlinked Public Tree

I found two Public Member Trees in that drop-down menu for my closest Match. One of the trees was named with a very familiar surname…the maiden name of Bio Mom Candidate’s mother (my biological maternal grandmother)! And this is not at all a common surname. BINGO!

While Bio Mom Candidate’s mother’s name is not listed in this tree, the tree is full of males with this same surname, most of whom appear to live in the same county already identified where Bio Mom Candidate and her parents lived. Some female spouses’ names are listed in this tree too (handy for cross-referencing in records). I was able within a couple hours to reconstruct my own version of this family tree, verifying and building it with records easily found on Ancestry and FamilySearch — expanding each branch of the family group (parents and a bunch of siblings) originally identified in this Match’s public tree.

One of these branches led me to the 1940 U.S. Census and a name that I instantly recognized… the same name I had identified a couple of weeks ago (via Ancestry records, Been Verified, and Facebook) as the mother of Bio Mom Candidate. Further cross-referencing among records confirmed this is indeed the same person.

Double BINGO!

Charting My AncestryDNA Top Matches — Plotting out the relationships between my top two AncestryDNA matches and me.

I had connected this top AncestryDNA Match to Bio Mom Candidate’s mother (my biological grandmother). A person that does show up in top Match’s public tree, but is marked as a private entry, which is why I could not find her in that tree by first name.

This connection also ties me to Bio Mom Candidate or one of her sisters as my birth mother. No other females within the appropriate DNA relationship range have the same surname identified on my original birth record.

Because I have no further proof (DNA, paper, or even verbal/written confirmation) directly linking me to Bio Mom Candidate, I cannot say with certainty that she is indeed my birth mother. Based on the age provided to me in my adoption letter long ago, Bio Mom Candidate best fits the profile from among this group of sisters. However, without further proof, the best I can conclude from the DNA and the records found is that one of these sisters is my birth mother.

My Initial AncestryDNA Maternal Matches — My two closest matches suggested by AncestryDNA confirm a maternal-line connection to Birth Mom Candidate or one of her sisters.

After soaking in this initial discovery high, I proceeded to replicate the same process on my second highest AncestryDNA Match — a female that Ancestry projects to also be a 2nd cousin, but with a possible range of 2nd to 3rd cousin.

Since this second Match is administered by the same person who is my top Match, I expected to come to the same conclusion. Which I quickly did. Match Two is the daughter of Match One. I confirmed this through the California Birth Index and Facebook.

Match One is my 1st Cousin 1x Removed. She and Bio Mom (Bio Mom Candidate or one of the sisters) are 1st Cousins, sharing the same grandparents as their MRCA (Most Recent Common Ancestor).
Match Two is my 2nd Cousin. We share the same great-grandparents as our MRCA.

Word of warning. Match One’s public trees are incorrect (sadly, as is often the case for public trees). On both, she identifies herself as the home person, but then lists her grandparents as her parents on the 1st tree (my maternal side tree). On the second tree (for her husband’s family), she once again identifies herself as the home person (instead of her husband of daughter), but appears to list who I assume are her husband’s parents as her own parents. My guess is this is for privacy reasons, to protect the identity of herself, her husband, and her daughter — while still allowing her to share information from the grandparents’ generations on back. This set-up caused me to initially mis-identify the cousin relationships between me and Match One and me and Match Two. It wasn’t until I recreated my own version of the tree, substantiated via found records, that I was able to correctly calculate these relationships.

Next Steps

I have a lot of work ahead of me. So far, I have:

Transferred my raw AncestryDNA data to Family Tree DNA, but I am waiting for the results to process.
Uploaded my raw AncestryDNA data to GEDmatch, and will start analyzing it as I learn this tool better in my current “Working with Autosomal Results” class, through DNAAdoption.

I will also play with some of the analytic tools on DNAGedcom, which I am also learning through the DNAAdoption class, as well as the AncestryDNA Helper extension for Chrome.

Another step is to thoughtfully begin considering how I will respond to any AncestryDNA, Family Tree DNA, or GEDmatch members who contact me now due to my DNA results showing up in their list of matches. I do not want to hinder someone else’s research: I hate non-responsive DNA match contacts, and I do not want to give them false information (lie about my connection). But I must respect the privacy and possible secret of my biological parents.

My DNA consultant and friend Molecular Genealogist Angie Bush, MS, shared some advice with me last night, after I asked what she recommends to her unknown parentage clients.

First, I would make sure your Ancestry tree is private AND unsearchable. After that, it is up to you whether or not you respond if they do contact you…I’m sure you have read about “non-responsive” matches all over the interwebz [sic]. That said, I would probably respond to any queries with the fact that you are adopted, and that you cannot share details of your biological ancestors because you don’t know them.

…or something like that…If your biological family gets in contact and they are okay with you sharing information or having a public tree, then that changes things, but until they do, you can keep things privatized.

Finding My Bio Family, a Waiting Game

Empty Biological Family Tree — I have already built a pretty good first-stab family tree for the family of Bio Mom Candidate. I just have not attached it to my entry in this tree yet, until I get some sort of confirmation. I have nothing so far on my birth father, but am hoping my DNA results can help with that.

After the whirlwind of discoveries a couple weeks ago identifying my original birth name, my biological parents’ surnames, and who the Search Angels and I think is my most likely Bio Mom Candidate (as well as the names of her sisters and parents), I have hit a stalemate.

And as my husband, parents, siblings, extended family, and close friends can tell you… I am not a remotely patient person.

My atDNA Being Processed

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that part of my strategy to identify my birth family is through analysis of my own autosomal DNA. AncestryDNA just started processing my test results on March 18th, so at best, they will be done by late April. Needless to say, I log in multiple times every day checking progress.

Ancestry DNA Processing — AncestryDNA, processing my autosomal test results.

Making Contact via Facebook Messenger

The afternoon of Tuesday, March 26th, I sent what felt like the oddest message I have ever crafted. I contacted my Bio Mom Candidate.

Contact was initiated via Facebook Messenger — paying the $1.00 fee for messages, if you’re not Facebook Friends, to go into the recipient’s Inbox, instead of their Other folder. The message identified my name, my date and place of birth, the details known about my adoption, and the recent discovery of my birth parents’ surnames. I apologized for the abruptness of the message, but came right out asking if she was my birth mom (really no sense beating around the bush). I explained that I simply hoped for some type of confirmation, but (if true, and she wanted it) I would welcome further conversation. I stressed that I wanted to reassure her that the baby girl she gave up for adoption was and is loved by a wonderful family. I also offered forth another apology, in case my message was upsetting in any way.

Facebook Message Inbox — Facebook Messenger confirming that Bio Mom Candidate saw my message.

Being my typical impatient self, and since it doesn’t look like Bio Mom Candidate is very active on Facebook, I waited three days before sending additional $1.00 Facebook Messages to the sisters who use Facebook. I thought it likely that the sisters already knew about the pregnancy and adoption, having shared the same home with her. Both my husband and my real mom agreed this was likely, and was worth pursuing without violating a secret.

I assured all of these ladies that I would never initiate contact with Bio Mom Candidate’s daughters. That is not my place, especially if it turns out this woman is indeed my birth mother, and her daughters don’t know about their mom’s earlier pregnancy.

Two sisters responded back that same night. Out of respect for their privacy (note that I have not included any actual names, other than my bio parents’ surnames), I won’t share details of our correspondence. Except to say no confirmation about anything has been provided to me.

Friday, while cleaning through my Facebook messages, I noticed that Bio Mom Candidate finally read (or at least opened) my message at 1:03pm (thank you, Facebook, for ratting out this kind of info!). So far, no reply back.

No doubt, I have dealt a big shock to this family of sisters. I have very mixed feelings about this. I would not want to hurt or upset someone intentionally. But, I do want to know. Even if it is “yes, but I’d rather not have further contact.” Although…I’d really like it if she would disclose my birth father’s full name.

Mom and I both agree that if no further contact comes from the family, I need to let this go. Birth Mom Candidate and her sisters know how to reach me.

#52Ancestors: Different DNA, but Same Family History — My Parents

My 13th entry in Amy Johnson Crow’s “52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks” family history blogging challenge for 2015.

The challenge: have one blog post each week devoted to a specific ancestor. It could be a story, a biography, a photograph, an outline of a research problem — anything that focuses on one ancestor.

Amy’s 2015 version of this challenge focuses on a different theme each week.

The theme for week 13 is — Different. What ancestor seems to be your polar opposite? What ancestor did something that seems completely different than what they “should” have done or what you would have done?

Colleen Mom Dad Wedding — My parents, on their wedding day.

My 13th ancestors are my Mom and Dad, with whom I have (as far as I know) completely different DNA.

Since my last two posts have focused on the new search for my biological family, I thought it appropriate to focus on my parents (my real parents) for this post.

Background

As a refresher, I was put up for adoption at birth, in a public closed adoption in Los Angeles County, California. I am the poster child for everything that can and should be right about adoption. Just a few months after I was born (I had been hospitalized for a while due to being two-months preemie), I was adopted by my parents — my real parents (I hate when people call them adoptive parents).

These are the only parents I have ever known. The parents who really really wanted me. The parents who have loved, nurtured, protected, guided, and encouraged me my entire life. The parents who have caught me every time I have fallen, figurative and literally, then helped me get back up on my feet again.

I mentioned in my previous posts about my adoption, and I have always told family and friends, that finding my birth parents has never been and never will be a big deal to me. I don’t feel a sense of missing identity. I don’t feel I was ever unwanted (my birth parents were just kids who had no business raising a kid). I don’t feel that I have been cheated out of my family history. I do know adoptees who do experience these feelings. I just am not one of them. I was blessed with the best parents and the best family possible. My childhood and adult life are filled with happy cherished memories.

Oh, and, despite what my parents say and my siblings say — I know that I am my parents’ favorite child! Yeah, I realize that my parents can’t ever actually admit that, or it would make them seem like bad parents, choosing a favorite kid. But I know I am their favorite kid. And I have never had a problem pointing that fact out to my siblings.

Nor have I refrained from searching for my birth parents due to some fear of hurting my real parents’ feelings, or of possibly being rejected by my birth parents. My real parents know that I love them, that I will always love them, and that they will always be my parents. My birth parents are simply the egg and sperm that made me; it won’t hurt me if they don’t want to meet and have a friendship with me.

So this post is really just about taking a breather from the whirlwind birth-mom-journey I got plunged into less than one week ago, and sharing the love I have for my real parents.

Colleen Robledo as Toddler with Mom — Me as a toddler with Mom, in my grandparents’ pool. We spent a lot of time in that pool as little kids! The man is not my dad; he was a friend of my parents. Dad was probably taking the photo.

Why Adoption?

My parents tried to have children naturally after they were married, but Mom’s doctor determined that she couldn’t get pregnant. They decided that biology would not prevent them from being parents, and they filed for adoption. Both wanted the first baby to be a little girl (lucky for me!). They have told me many times about that moment when they received “the call” congratulating them on becoming parents, and asking them to come bring their baby home.

From my baby book and childhood photo albums, it is obvious my parents thought the sun and moon revolved around me. My brother’s baby book and photo albums have far fewer photos…just sayin’ :-).

Adoption Poem from Dear Abby — A famous adoption poem that Mom clipped from Dear Abby when I was a baby, to put in my baby book.

Adoption Poem by Mom — A poem that Mom wrote to me when I was a baby or little girl.

Mom and Dad had already started the paperwork to adopt a second child, when Mom found out she was pregnant. Shortly after, my brother was born. I call it an accident, my brother likes to call it a miracle. I tell him that I was chosen, and he was just a “whoops!” kid.

After my brother was born, Mom and Dad made sure that no further accidents could happen.

Then six years later, we as a family decided that we wanted a little sister. So my parents adopted my sister, shortly before her third birthday. She was also a closed public adoption.

Our family was a bit unusual, with the biological child sandwiched between two adoptees. So much so that a documentary maker did a film about my brother (don’t know whatever happened to that film), chronicling his experiences as the lone biological child in the family. You can bet I was none to happy about someone wanting to star my brother in a documentary. I was, after all, going to be a future Broadway star.

I think that little bout of jealousy (one of many many many such fits of jealousy) only hits the point home that we were a perfectly normal imperfect family, despite none of us kids being biologically related. We fought like normal siblings, we played like normal siblings, and no other kids were allowed to mess with our siblings. We all sassed and disobeyed our parents, and our parents punished us all equally for any bad behavior. They also loved us all equally (well, except for me being their favorite).

Robledo Family, Camping, Late 1970s — One of many family photos, from one of many summer family camping trips. This must have been before Dad got a camera with a timer, because he is taking the photo. And I think it’s the late 1970s, shortly after adopting my little sister (on my lap).

Robledo Flanagan Family - ca 1984 — Our immediate family, 1985, on a family summer vacation camping trip. I can tell the date by my hair and outfit, which I sported my freshman year of high school. Why do most of us look miserable? Because my parents would make us pose over and over for the camera timer to capture family photos…on every summer family camping trip.

Family History vs. Genetic History

When I refer to my family history, I am distinctly referring to my real family. Because it is family history. Genealogy is the pursuit, the study and the profession. Family history is more personal…at least for me. Now that I’ve added my bio parents and my own autosomal DNA into the mix, I refer to that as my genetic history.

I know adoptees are all over the board on this. Some research both their real and bio families’ histories. Some do just their real family history. Some do just their bio family history, because they insist this is their history. To each his own.

But to me, my family history focus will always be on my real family.

Because it is the people (the ancestors and relatives) from this family, my family, that shaped the extended family universe that I have known my whole life — my great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, siblings, great aunts, great uncles, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Their life experiences, their culture, their traditions, their memories, their success or failure as parents and spouses, their hopes and dreams. Their sense of love and sense of family. I may not have the same DNA that predetermined physical appearance (although people always say I look like my Mom..ha!), medical history, or particular traits (THANK GOD I could not inherit Mom’s tone deafness gene!), but that stuff doesn’t matter to me.

Family and family history are not defined by biology.

Colleen Robledo & Dad Graduation — Preparing to leave for my undergraduate graduation ceremony. Dad was the first in his family to graduate college.

Colleen Robledo and Mom — Drinking and dining with Mom. Thanksgiving about 6 years ago.

Colleen Robledo and Mom - Bridal Shower — With Mom, at my bridal shower in a Victorian tea house.

Colleen Robledo Bride and Mom — Mom looking on while I touched up my hair and makeup in between my wedding ceremony and the reception. Shopping for wedding dresses with her is one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

Colleen Robledo Bride and Dad Aisle — Dad walking me down the aisle, something he dreamed of since I was a baby. I knew he’d lose it (crying here). I kept squeezing his arm telling him that I loved him.

Robledo Colleen Bride and Dad Aisle.jpg — My very favorite photo of Dad and me, before my wedding ceremony. He was still pretty emotionally with-it at this point. Dad is a model husband, father, and grandfather. I am blessed to have married someone like him.

Adoption Search Angels Help Me Find My Original Birth Name & Birth Parent Surnames Overnight

This past Wednesday, I blogged about finally caving and testing my autosomal DNA to learn about my ethnic origins and see if I get connected to any genetic cousins (I was adopted at birth). I also explained why locating my biological parents hasn’t and isn’t a big deal for me.

Colleen Robledo, DNA Testing — Taking my AncestryDNA autosomal test.

I am still waiting for AncestryDNA to process my DNA sample, however I have already had a significant breakthrough in this quest. I have a strong candidate for my birth mom. Thanks to a suggestion from my friend Angie Bush, a genetic genealogist.

Search Angels

After reading my blog post on Wednesday, Angie sent a message asking if I knew about Search Angels — a generic term for volunteers who help adoptees identify and find their birth families, often able to identify birth parent surnames within just an hour or two. She steered me towards Search Squad, a closed Facebook group where people seeking biological family members (adoptees and others with unknown parentage) can get help from these volunteer Search Angels. This group runs a sister Facebook group specifically for California and Ohio adoptions, which is where I posted my query. These particular Facebook groups do not allow just anyone to join; a group administrator will contact you with some questions prior to admitting you as a member. This is to help cut back on looky-loos.

I posted a query at 8:13pm on Wednesday, March 25th, with what info I knew about my birth and adoption: my legal birth name, birth date, birth county, mom’s maiden name (my real mom, not bio mom), that it was a public adoption at birth, and ages of bio mom and dad (from my adoption letter). By 8:25pm, a California specialist volunteer had claimed my case. This volunteer then messaged me on Facebook to let me know that she would have her volunteer team start on the search in the morning, and should have information about my birth parents the next day.

By 9:37am the next morning, my Search Angel had my original birth info!

These Facebook groups are not the only place one can find Search Angels. Several websites provide listings of Search Angel volunteers, usually by state. Search Angels do not charge for their services; some only for copies of actual records that they might retrieve on your behalf for a repository. They pay for various database subscriptions — genealogy, public records, yearbook sites, etc. — out of their own pockets, and do not pass those costs on to the people they help. Search Angels are located all across the U.S., some even in other countries.

My Birth Names

As I mentioned above, by 9:37am the morning after I posted my query, a team of Search Angels had found my original birth information. My California specialist messaged me asking if I was ready to meet myself!

I was named Kerry M. at birth, on my sealed birth records, as evidenced by the California Birth Index, 1905-1995. My Search Angel tells me that because my biological parents were not married, but because my birth mom chose to identify my birth father, I am listed twice, once under each bio parents’ surname: as Kerry M. Rought, and as Kerry M. Deleon. Since my adoption letter states that my bio dad is of Spanish and French descent, we assumed Deleon was his surname. Rought also jived with the German and Duch ethnicity the letter attributed to my bio mom.

Kerry M. Rought - Birth Index - Ancestry — *California Birth Index, 1905 – 1995*, entry for Kerry M. Rought. Courtesy of Ancestry.com.

Kerry M. Deleon - Birth Index - Ancestry — *California Birth Index, 1905 – 1995*, entry for Kerry M. Deleon. Courtesy of Ancestry.com.

The Process

It is important that I clarify that none of these volunteers have access to the original unsealed birth certificates or adoption records. Being a public adoptee from California, my original birth certificate and original adoption records (which would clearly identify both birth parents by name) is sealed. It is illegal for these volunteers to access these records. It is illegal for me to access them, unless a superior court judge rules to release these records to me due to a compelling reason. I am only allowed to request birth records with non-identifying information, to protect the identity of my birth parents.

So how then did the Search Angels identify my original birth information and the surnames of my bio parents?

By starting with the California Birth Index (for births prior to 1995). Anyone can access this index, even within California, since it is public record.

I should define some terms here. This terminology is the jargon used among the Search Angels/adoptees circles. I would need to defer to Judy Russell for confirmation or clarification of the legal terminology.

Unredacted Birth Certificate: Original birth certificate, sealed and replaced with an amended birth certificate. Includes names of both birth parents (if a birth father was named), and name given at birth of the adoptee.
Amended Birth Certificate: Legal birth certificate, which replaces the unredacted one. Reflects the legal name if an adoptee undergoes a legal name change (upon adoption). Lists the legal (adoptive) parents.
Amended Birth Index: Birth index that includes listings from amended birth certificates. I am told this is the public records version accessible within California.
Unamended Birth Index: Birth index that includes listings from unredacted birth certificates. I am told this is no longer available for access or sale within California.*

My Search Angel team — based outside of California — did a search on the amended California Birth Index for my legal or amended birth certificate entry (I can’t access my amended post-adoption entry on the Ancestry version). This entry provides my birth certificate ID#. My Search Angel team tells me that California does not issue a new ID# when the unredacted certificate is sealed and replaced with the amended certificate — both versions of the birth certificate use the same ID#. This team has access to the unamended birth index and simply looked for the same ID#, gender, birth date, and birth county to locate the index entry for my unredacted birth certificate, which provides my original birth name(s) and birth mom’s maiden name.

Once I understood that process, I immediately hopped on my Ancestry subscription and searched for myself using my birth name(s). Bingo! I instantly pulled up both entries (see screenshots above) — under my bio mom’s surname and again under my bio dad’s surname. Note that Ancestry’s version of the California Birth Index does NOT include birth certificate ID#s. There is simply no way I would have ever known these records were mine. Los Angeles County is a big place…there were probably many female babies born that same date. That birth certificate ID# was the key.

Amazing!

I love this sort of detective work!

Birth Mom Candidate

After sharing my birth name and the surnames of my biological parents, my lead Search Angel asked I wanted help researching likely candidates. I thanked her, but declined, explaining that I am a librarian and genealogist who will enjoy the search process. We did both agree that my best bet was to work on the bio mom, since Rought is a less common surname than Deleon…at least in Southern California.

This particular Facebook group of volunteers posts the findings on one’s original query, to let other Search Angels know that the case has been closed. Within minutes of my Search Angel doing that (literally, 4 minutes later!), I had other volunteers immediately start tracking down birth mom possibilities based on maiden name, the age stated in my adoption letter, and residency in Los Angles County. While I planned to do all of this myself after getting home from work, who am I to reject immediate research assistance from others?

Throughout the entire day, this group of volunteers kept sharing more leads, identifying two sisters as the most likely candidates, and agreeing upon the oldest sister as the top Birth Mom Candidate. They tracked down a Facebook profile for her, as well as for her two children.

And throughout this flurry of discoveries, I was supposed to be able to concentrate on my job???!

That evening, I started constructing a family tree for Birth Mom Candidate, based on records I found in Ancestry and Been Verified, as well as information I could glean off of publicly viewable information from Facebook.

I also sent a private message to her Facebook profile (paying the $1.00 to make it show up in her inbox, since we are not Facebook Friends). The message introduced myself, and explained why I was contacting her. I asked if she could please confirm if my hunch was correct, to please excuse the intrusion, and that I would welcome a friendship (if our relationship was correct) or would respect her wish to not establish a friendship.

That was Thursday night. Here it is Sunday afternoon, and no word yet. If she is like my own (real) Mom, Birth Mom Candidate doesn’t check her Facebook messages. Based on her Facebook Profile, I’d say Birth Mom Candidate doesn’t even use her Facebook Profile much. I do have some phone numbers from Been Verified, but I’d rather establish contact digitally than by cold calling.

And my parents’ reactions to all of this? They’ve been very excited following every bit of progress. A lot of text messages have been flying between the three of us this past week.

Next Steps

My head has been in a whirlwind since Thursday morning. As a work colleague told me on Friday, it figures that someone who has had no interest in learning about her birth parents would get so much information so fast… had this been something that bothered me most of my life, we would have turned up with zilch.

What I need to do now:

Try to wait patiently for Bio Mom Candidate to check her Facebook messages and reply to me — even if to confirm her identity, but to say she does not want to have any type of relationship. I can deal with that.
File for my non-identifying birth records with California and/or Los Angeles County.
Wait for AncestryDNA to process my autosomal results, and see if any matches pop up with the surnames of Rought or Deleon, or the collateral surnames I have already associated with this Bio Mom Candidate.

What I will not do is try to make contact with Bio Mom Candidate’s children — even though I can see that they are on Facebook quite often. As much as I would like to reach out to them, in the event their mother hasn’t told them about me (or even worse, the Search Angeles and I identified the wrong candidate), it is not my right to break this news to them and possibly disrupt their lives. If we have identified the right candidate, it is her right to decide if and when she will tell her other children.

*Note: I have asked my legislative analyst husband to do some research on this whole California birth index access issue, and the legislative history behind it. Is it illegal for California residents and institutions to actually own or possess the old unredacted version of the index? Or is it simply no longer available for sale from the state of California (only the amended version)? Were California repositories and residents required to return the original unredacted index? Or are they still able to include it for public access in their government documents collection if purchased prior the state making it unavailable for sale?

#52Ancestors: Beginning the Search for My Birth Mother, with Whom I Share Half the Same DNA

Colleen Robledo, Baby — Me at just over one year old, four months after my legal adoption.

My 12th entry in Amy Johnson Crow’s “52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks” family history blogging challenge for 2015.

The challenge: have one blog post each week devoted to a specific ancestor. It could be a story, a biography, a photograph, an outline of a research problem — anything that focuses on one ancestor.

Amy’s 2015 version of this challenge focuses on a different theme each week.

The theme for week 12 is — Same. What ancestor is a lot like you? What ancestor do you have a lot in common? Same name? Same home town?

My 12th ancestor is my birth mom, with whom I should share half of the same DNA.

I have known my entire life that I was adopted. My parents always told me, and celebrated that fact. My birth announcement reads: “I wasn’t expected, I was selected!” Mom says they would tell me that word long before I could understand its meaning, and then they explained it to me when I was old enough to start understanding. I was put up for adoption at birth, and came home to my parents a few months later, after a very brief stay in a foster home and a hospital incubator due to being born two months premature.

This post is particularly timely, because Monday was the anniversary of the day I came home with my parents. My legal adoption became final six months later.

What I Know About My Birth Parents

My adoption was public, through the County of Los Angeles. I am told I was born at St. Anne’s home for unwed mothers, in Los Angeles, California. In California that means my original birth certificate, with my birth parents’ names, was sealed. All I know about my birth parents is contained within the following letter that was given to my parents when they brought me home on 23 March 1970.

My birth mom was just 16, and my birth father was just 19. They wanted me to be raised in a two-parent married Catholic home, by parents who could better care for me and who of course would love me.

According to the letter, it appears I was predestined to love the outdoors and hiking!

The question I have always wanted an answer to is… if they were 5 feet 4 inches and 5 feet 10 inches tall, how the heck did I end up only 5 feet 1 inch tall??? I should be a few inches taller.

Colleen Robledo, Adoption Letter — The letter that accompanied me home with my parents on 23 March 1970. Our adoption became legal six months later.

Why Haven’t I Cared to Look?

As I mentioned before, public adoptions in California require that the original birth certificate and records be sealed. An adoptee is allowed to request access to these, once of majority age. Yet even then, a judge has to agree to release identifiable information (birth parent names and details); an adoptee is only guaranteed non-identifiable info.

I am well past majority age, yet I have never bothered with the cumbersome process of requesting my records. Because it just hasn’t ever really mattered to me. I can honestly say that I have no curiosity about my birth parents, no big desire to know their names, and don’t feel any sense of missing identity. I have always felt incredibly loved, and a powerful blood-like bond to my immediate and extended family — including our ancestors. Quite simply, I have the best parents in the world. I am the poster child for how adoption is supposed to work.

What is Different Now?

While I still confidently say that I don’t care if I ever find out the identities of my birth parents, something has changed. What has changed is a growing sense of compassion for what my birth mother went through 45 years ago. I attribute it to just getting older, having helped raise a child (my oldest niece), and becoming a wife and stepmom five and a half years ago. Because these feelings never really crossed my mind until a handful of years ago.

I have come to recognize and respect that putting me up for adoption was probably the most difficult decision my birth mother ever made. It was an incredibly brave selfless act. Every December 20th on my birthday, I imagine that my birth mom is thinking about the baby girl she gave up, wondering if she did the right thing, if her baby was safe, if her baby was loved. I can’t imagine carrying a child and nurturing it in the womb, and then having the emotional strength to give that baby up to others. Having grown up to a point where I can truly appreciate that sacrifice, I would like to be able to assure her that her baby was and is loved as much as is humanly possible. I was blessed with the very best parents and family possible.

And then there’s that whole genetic genealogy thing…

Until very recently, I have not jumped on the genealogy DNA craze. Mostly because my family history is not in my DNA. But early last year, I caved and tested Dad through AncestryDNA in the hopes of breaking through my Robledo surname brick wall. But at RootsTech and FGS last month, I learned about how DNA was being used by adoptees to find birth families. That caught my curiosity. I have always loved solving puzzles. This sounded fun, like a great learning opportunity, and like a great case study to put under my research skills belt. Getting introduced to and hooked on new friend Michael Lacopo’s Hoosier Daddy? blog intensified this interest.

So last week, I took an autosomal test from AncestryDNA. And started a biological family tree.

My Next Steps

Aside from impatiently waiting over the next 4 to 8 weeks for AncestryDNA to process my autosomal DNA results, which I will of course also upload to Family Tree DNA and GEDmatch, I have some next plans of action already in place.

I joined the DNA Detectives group on Facebook last week.
I just enrolled in the May 8th session of the Working with Autosomal DNA online course by DNA Adoption.
I plan to enlist the services of my new DNA consultant friend Angie Bush, a brilliant molecular genealogist, to teach me what to do with this data, and how to calculate relationships of those who share my DNA.
I am attending DNA Day at the Southern California Genealogy Jamboree in June, especially CeCe Moore’s DNA and adoptees session.
Being the kick-butt librarian that I am, I will continue researching everything I can about genetic genealogy and how to analyze the DNA results.
I guess I need to also finally fill out and send in the notarized forms asking the County of Los Angeles to open and release my adoption file. Paper records still count!

My mom, who works in adoptions, has always been very supportive of me tracking down my birth family (so has Dad). But as Moms always do, she continues to try to protect me and shield me from disappointment. Mom has gently warned me that I need to be prepared to accept that my birth parents might not want to be found. She encounters this regularly in her work. Both biological parents have most likely gone on with their lives, marrying others and possibly having more children. They might not have told their new spouses and children about this incident from their past. They might not want them to know. They might not want to be found.

If so, that’s okay too. Like I said, finding them has never been important to me. It won’t hurt me. And having taken Judy Russell’s Ethical Genealogist session at FGS, I understand that while it is my right to know, it is not my right to force others to know, or to blow someone else’s secret.

At the very least, this remains a great learning opportunity and case study for my portfolio. Perhaps it will equip me to help give back to the adoption community by being able to assist others seeking to venture into this same journey.